The Foundation of Self Care for mums is Self Compassion
In the age of Insta-worthy self-care routines, it’s easy to get caught up in the aesthetics of self-care. We're bombarded with messages that tout self-care as the ultimate solution to wellness, and being a calm mum, but if we're not treating ourselves with kindness and compassion, those bubble baths and face masks might just be superficial plasters on deeper wounds.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a self-care enthusiast through and through. You’ll find me soaking in a hot bath, reading my book, almost every night. And while that might seem like the picture of self-care, the truth is, it’s only effective because I’ve learned how to truly relax and be kind to myself in those moments.
Self-care isn’t just about going through the motions of a routine; it’s about the mindset you bring to it. How often do we catch ourselves mentally running through the to-do list or feeling guilty for taking a break? If you find yourself questioning whether you deserve that moment of relaxation or worse, telling yourself you don’t, it’s time to dig deeper.
Before diving headfirst into your self-care rituals, it’s crucial to address the root cause of those negative thoughts. Hypnotherapy can be a powerful tool for uncovering and reshaping thought patterns that undermine our ability to be kind to ourselves. It’s about finding the positives, emptying your stress bucket, and rewiring your mindset for self-compassion.
Imagine this: You’ve run yourself a luxurious bath, complete with bubbles and soothing music. But instead of sinking into relaxation, your mind is buzzing with thoughts of unfinished tasks and self-criticisms. Sound familiar? That’s the opposite of self-care; it’s self-sabotage.
The aim of rest and relaxation is to reduce the stress in our bucket, not add to it. So, if you’re constantly berating yourself for taking a break or feeling guilty for indulging in self-care, it’s time to hit pause and reassess your approach.
Self-care isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution; it’s deeply personal and requires a foundation of self-kindness. It’s about recognising that you deserve moments of peace and rejuvenation, free from the weight of expectations and judgments. It’s about giving yourself permission to prioritise your well-being without apology or hesitation.
So, how can you cultivate kindness towards yourself? Start by paying attention to your inner dialogue. Are you speaking to yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend? If not, it’s time to change the script. Replace self-criticism with self-compassion, and watch how it transforms your relationship with self-care.
Practice mindfulness in your self-care routines. Instead of mindlessly scrolling through social media while soaking in the bath, focus on the sensation of the warm water against your skin. Notice the scent of the candles and the sound of your breath. By bringing awareness to the present moment, you can deepen your sense of relaxation.
Set boundaries and honour them unapologetically. Whether it’s carving out dedicated time for self-care or saying no to commitments that drain your energy, as mums there will always be something to do or someone to look after but we must also prioritise our well-being without guilt. Remember, self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential and we’re not just teaching ourselves this, but our children are watching and learning too.
And finally, be patient with yourself. Self-kindness is a journey, not a destination. There will be days when self-care feels effortless, and others when it feels like an uphill battle. Embrace the ebb and flow, knowing that each moment of kindness towards yourself is a step in the right direction.
To learn more about how hypnotherapy can help you to reduce stress and anxiety, book a complimentary initial consultation. Or sign up to my mailing list and I’ll send you a free Time for You relaxation track and a free Rediscover You video workshop to get you started!