Writing Your Birth Story
Writing your birth story can feel daunting at first, but it can be a powerful way to begin processing and understanding your birth experience. Here are some of the benefits of writing down your story and how to get started.
What are the benefits of writing your birth story?
• After birth we tell snippets of our stories here and there, but we don't often reflect on the story as a whole. As we focus on the most memorable, difficult or important moments we can start to lose the finer details. Writing down your story can help to bring details back into focus.
• If you had a traumatic or difficult birth then writing about it can be useful. It can help you to understand what happened, help to explore and validate your feelings and allow you to find compassion for yourself.
• Giving ourselves time to write and reflect reminds us that our story and experience matters, and that we continue to matter even when the focus is often turned towards our new baby.
• It allows us to celebrate our achievement. No matter what your birth looked like, you did it! What are you proud of?
• It can help us to feel more confident sharing our experience. Writing everything down might be the first step you take towards sharing your story with others, it can help us to unjumble events and safely explore how we feel. When we feel safe to share we can feel supported and less alone.
How to write your birth story
• Take your time, don't pressure yourself to get it done if you're not feeling ready. You can do this at any time, weeks, months or years after birth. The right time is a time that feels right for you.
• If it feels like an enormous task, break it down a little and start small. You can make notes on your phone, record little audio clips of memories, doodle, make a mind map or list of events.
• Give yourself the time and space you need to honour your experience. Once you've taken some notes find a quiet time where you won't be disturbed, maybe ground yourself before starting with some deep breaths or by playing some music and lighting a candle.
• Your story doesn't have to be only about the day your baby was born. You can include how your pregnancy went, what the lead up to birth was like and how you felt and coped after the birth too.
• If you're memories feel a bit jumbled and you feel comfortable talking, ask your birth partner about their memories. This might help you fill in some blanks but remember that you will have different memories and they will have experienced the birth in a different way.
• Emotions can flow when you return to these important memories, but if you start to feel distressed, take a break, and remember you can stop at any time. Maybe have a chat to a partner, friend or family member and if you feel you want to, come back to it later.
• Once you've written your birth story you can do whatever you want with it. You might keep it in a memory box, illustrate it, share it with others, burn it, type it up or put it in a scrapbook.
If you'd like to reflect more on your birth experience have a look at my 1.1 birth listening service or if you've had a traumatic birth you might be interested in 3 step rewind sessions.