Is It Normal to Not Enjoy Parenthood?
Parenthood is often portrayed as a magical and fulfilling journey. From glowing Instagram photos to ads on TV showing gorgeous and glowing mums, the world gives us the impression that becoming a parent will bring us nothing but joy. And while parenthood can be an incredibly rewarding experience, it’s also one of the most challenging roles we’ll ever take on. So, what happens when you find yourself not enjoying it as much as you thought you would? Is it normal to feel like parenthood isn't all sunshine and rainbows?
The short answer is yes—it’s completely normal.
You Don’t Have to Enjoy Every Minute
We are often told to “cherish every moment” because children grow up so fast. While this sentiment comes from a well-meaning place, it can create so much pressure to feel a constant sense of happiness and fulfillment. Parenthood is an emotional rollercoaster filled with sleepless nights, tantrums, piles of laundry, and the constant demands of balancing family, work, and personal life. It's unrealistic to expect that you'll enjoy every minute, and that's perfectly okay.
In fact, not enjoying certain parts of parenthood doesn’t make you a bad parent—it makes you human. Parenthood brings with it a load of new responsibilities and stresses, and navigating these challenges can be exhausting. It’s okay to admit that you’re not having fun or that you're feeling overwhelmed.
Parenthood Brings Massive Change
Becoming a parent is a profound transformation. You're not just taking on a new role—you're also going through emotional, physical, and mental changes that can feel disorientating. Parenthood disrupts every aspect of life, from your relationship with your partner to your sense of identity. It’s no wonder that so many parents, especially mums, experience feelings of discomfort, confusion, or even resentment at times.
Adjusting to these changes takes time. It's normal to feel uncomfortable or out of sorts as you navigate the massive shift from being an individual or part of a couple to being a caregiver responsible for another human life. And while many parts of parenthood are rewarding, there are also stages that feel draining, repetitive and boring, like endless night feedings or managing toddler tantrums. These difficult phases can leave you feeling like you’ve lost a sense of control, and that's incredibly tough.
When You Lose All Joy and Motivation
However, there’s a distinction between normal feelings of frustration or fatigue and feeling like you’ve lost all joy and motivation. If you’re constantly feeling disconnected, unmotivated, or finding little to no joy in your role as a parent, it might be a sign that something deeper is going on. It’s important to recognise these feelings and take them seriously.
Postnatal depression, anxiety, burnout, birth trauma and other mental health struggles can sometimes manifest as an ongoing sense of dissatisfaction with parenthood. If you're feeling like you've lost yourself in the demands of parenting or that you’re barely getting through the day, it’s crucial to know that you don’t have to navigate these feelings alone.
Support Is Available
If you're feeling overwhelmed, unmotivated, or as though the joy has been drained from parenthood, reaching out for help is a powerful first step. Whether you're experiencing parental burnout, postnatal depression or anxiety, or just struggling with the day-to-day challenges of raising a child, support is available. Talking to a professional, can help you untangle your emotions and find strategies to cope.
As a solution-focused hypnotherapist, I specialise in supporting parents through these exact struggles. Hypnotherapy can help you regain control over your mindset, reduce anxiety, and rediscover your sense of self amid the chaos of parenting. It’s a gentle, effective way to shift your perspective and reintroduce joy into your life.
If you’re ready to take the next step in finding that support, I’m here to help. Together, we can work toward you finding your joy and motivation again.